Posted by: Rael Kalley | October 17, 2009

11. The first million is the hardest

To help manage the massive surge in our business since the introduction of my blog we have had to, rather rapidly, create a whole new department within the company.

We have recruited a C.B.O. (Chief Blog Officer) who immediately hired a V.P – Blog, who required an assistant to the V.P. – Blog, who could not function without a Blog Relations Advisor, who brought in a Blog Media Control Officer, who needed a Blog Media Training Officer, who would have been lost without a Blog Research Advisor.

Each of the above was in immediate need of, and was provided with, an executive assistant, an assistant to the assistant and an assistant to the assistants assistant.

Naturally, each has been equipped with a company vehicle, chauffeur and unlimited access to the corporate fleet of G5s.

All of this required a major renovation of the office but with the new 99,000 square foot addition I can proudly report that the entire department is now snugly ensconced in their new digs and is anxiously waiting for the C.B.O. to issue the first directive as soon as she returns from her twelve week annual vacation.

In the interim the group meets daily in the freight elevator. I attended one of these meetings but left early as I did not understand a word they were saying. It was all Geek to me.

There is a serious request in today’s posting. I am asking for your help.

At present there are approximately 40 people who have subscribed to this blog.

I have a goal. My goal is to have 1,000 subscribers by the end of the year. Why 1,000? Well, to this point each posting has included a point (I hope) about how we select our beliefs and how we choose the meaning we apply to each event in our lives.

I intend to use the next few posting to discuss the incredible importance of planning and goal setting and to share with you a process that I use with every client I coach. I am testing a theory I intend to incorporate into this planning/goal setting process and to achieve this I chose 1,000 subscribers by year end as a means of measuring the effectiveness of this process. I will certainly share all of this in future blogs.

Also, I have received a few very complimentary emails from people telling me they enjoy my writing style and urging me to continue. This is very heartening beyond anything you can imagine. Those of you who know me, know this is the absolute truth; I have spent my entire life terrified of writing. I have long believed that I have no writing ability whatsoever and have gone out of my way to avoid writing whenever possible.

In my business life my heart would sink every time I delivered a sales presentation to a prospective client and heard the dreaded words “please send me a proposal.” Truth be told there have been times when my fear of writing so paralyzed me that I walked away from potential business rather than write a proposal.

 Quite the confession, isn’t it? Particularly from a guy who has often been hired by clients to help them overcome their own limiting beliefs.

 

OK! Enough! Back to the usual silliness you have come to expect.

To help you in your mission I am lending a little marketing assistance.

I’m sure few of you know this but I am an award winning, internationally acclaimed and highly sought marketing guru so I have taken the liberty of providing you with three sample emails you may use as you urge everyone you know to subscribe to my blog.

Marketing Email 1

Dear (name goes here),

I am writing to you to share with you a life altering experience.

I recently subscribed to a blog that has so altered my view of life that I am today, a profoundly different person. I am lighter in heart, carefree in spirit and happily wander the streets for hours at a time humming “ain’t life grand.”

I urge you to subscribe to this post. Once you have read all the postings I’m sure you’ll agree that (please select from the choices below)

 – the writer is a genius

– this is Pulitzer Prize winning material

– writing this poignant can only come from a direct descendent of Shakespeare

 – many people must collaborate in the writings of these blogs as such brilliance could not possibly emanate from one mere mortal

– only one segment of society could possible produce writing of such magnificent clarity. The writer must be a coach/consultant

– this guy needs help

 – it’s impossible to believe that the person who wrote this has is able to recite his own name

– it is proof positive that our government had been experiment with IQ lowering medications to be force fed to the electorate as their only hope of winning re-election

I am sure you will take immediate and appropriate action and subscribe immediately. Once you have done so your Ginzu knives will be shipped to you without delay.

Your Good Friend, (Your name goes here)

Marketing Email 2

Dear (name goes here),

You better subscribe to this blog if you know what’s good for you.

Your Good Friend, (Your name goes here)

Marketing Email 3

Dear (name goes here),

I need your help. This is urgent.

Rael promised me that if I help sign up 150 new subscribers he will remove my name from the subscription list.

Please.

Your Good Friend, (Your name goes here)

 

I do not expect you to do this for nothing.

The following three prizes will be given to the three readers who bring in the most new subscribers.

Grand Prize

An all expenses paid weekend in Edmonton

2nd Prize

An all expenses paid week in Edmonton

3rd Prize

We will relocate you to Edmonton

You will do this for me if you know what’s good for you.

Till we read again.


Responses

  1. LOL. Very good read. I dont know about the Shakespear bit, maybe the PCs would show interest. Duh……Edmonton……I’ll think about it. Keep it up.

  2. Rael
    As always, you brighten my day with your humour, transparency and the reality of what each one of us, every single human being has in common; that being how we create beliefs and ideas about either how powerful we are and/or how limited we are. I look forward to your next posting.


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