Posted by: Rael Kalley | April 30, 2011

91. Doctor, Doctor you give me the blues

When we have occasion to visit a doctor we generally take with us a set of narrowly defined assumptions and expectations regarding the person to whom we are entrusting our health care and possibly even our lives.

Some of those assumptions include:

     An assumption that the doctor possesses the requisite education to address and assist with our medical issues.

     Ditto for knowledge.

     Ditto for training.

     Ditto for skills.

And we expect:

     To receive professional and respectful treatment.

     To be provided high quality care.

     To have our questions answered.

So I was really interested in listening to my friend Steve relay his recent reasons for “firing” a specialist to whom he had been referred and for whom he had waited 8 months to see.

Steve does not have a very pleasant health history. He has been plagued with ailment after ailment for as long as I have known him and many of his friends are both surprised and delighted that he is still with us.

Steve, on the other hand, takes everything in stride and views each medical setback simply as a challenge to be overcome and defeated.

He is perpetually cheerful, looks for the good in everything and sees life as a precious gift to be enjoyed, savoured and lived to the fullest.

And he was keenly awaiting this appointment so that he could begin and win this newest threat to his well being.

And when the day finally arrived he fired the doctor.

He didn’t fire him in the sense of handing him a pink slip and saying “you’re fired.”

It was more a case of getting up midway through the appointment, walking out, driving over to his family doctor’s office and asking her to refer him to a different specialist even if it meant waiting another eight months and risking the worsening of his newest disease.

You see, in addition to all those assumptions and expectations listed above, Steve has one other.

He naively believes that he is not an object but rather a person with feelings, fears, concerns and a strong need to be treated as a human.

Apparently this doctor, in a manner not uncommon to many in that field, possesses tremendous knowledge and skills, a sterling reputation, the acclaim of his peers and all the interpersonal skills of a doorknob.

When Steve entered his office the doctor didn’t take the time to greet him.

He didn’t even acknowledge his presence.

His eyes were glued to the computer monitor on his desk.

Without looking up he began telling Steve the seriousness of his condition.

Without looking up he told Steve his prognosis – which was not encouraging.

Without looking up he rattled off a few questions.

Without looking up he told Steve what the course of treatment would be.

Without looking up he interrupted Steve’s attempt to ask questions by telling him not to interrupt.

And because he didn’t look up he probably didn’t notice when Steve stood up and left.

Steve is very ill. He’s not sure if he can win this one.

He desperately wants and needs medical intervention and help.

But what he wants even more is to be treated with dignity and respect.

And he told me that regardless of how bleak the prognosis may be, and how high the risk of delaying treatment, he was willing to face the consequences of his decision to walk out and wait for an appointment with another specialist rather than allow himself to be objectified, unworthy of respectful treatment.

He told me that by not walking out he would be condoning that behaviour and, at the same time, increasing the probability that behaviour would continue.

And that is a price my friend Steve is unwilling to pay.

He explained to me that there is only one type of business out there.

It’s called the people business.

And we all need people in order to succeed, prosper and grow.

And position, power, wealth, brilliance and achievement does not give anyone the right to be less than respectful.

Regardless of how much value they are capable of producing.

He said that he has met with many doctors and professionals in other fields and in every group there are those with pitiful people skills.

Because, in Steve’s view, it’s just not important to them.

 And because we allow them to be like that.

And he doesn’t think it’s right.

Steve is a customer service aficionado.

He won’t return to a restaurant, regardless of how exceptional the quality of their food, if the service doesn’t match the quality of that food.

He won’t visit a store, regardless of how great their prices, if the staff aren’t friendly and knowledgeable.

He won’t fly on our national airline.

He refuses to lower his expectations.

And challenges those who do.

In the medical world, what they have is called a practice.

In other fields it’s called a business.

In the medical world people are called patients.

In the rest of the world people are called customers.

And a business cannot survive without customers.

And a practise won’t survive when patients lose patience.

Nor should it.

Steve’s right, you know.

Till we read again.

P.S. I’m shamelessly begging for help. I have a goal of 5,000 subscribers to my blog and I am not yet at the half way mark. If you enjoy reading my ramblings, please pass this on to your friends, relatives and associates and ask them to subscribe. I need all the help I can get. Thanks. If you don’t enjoy my blog, pass it on to all those you don’t like.

P.P.S.I am getting great feedback on the free first chapter of my book Life Sinks or Soars – the Choice is Yours. Please check it out here and, if you like it and would like to buy your own copy, please email me at rael@raelkalley.com or click here and the fine folks at Self Connection will ship a copy to you right away.


Responses

  1. Rael, this blog entry sounds somewhat like a “poor Steve” story; how unjustly people treat people; how Steve is RIGHT to never return to specific doctors, restaurants, etc. again because of how he perceived to have been treated. I can’t help thinking that maybe there are others who think that this specific doctor is the BEST. Maybe Steve feels that customer service is poor in places where others think it is great. Now, wouldn’t you say it is all about perspective and the meaning we place upon something ourselves? This blog entry has a slightly different tone from most of your other ones. I’m curious to know what makes Steve’s story any different from that of the other people’s you have shared with us. You sound softer towards Steve than you did towards others. :o) I’m interested to know what really makes the difference here?

  2. Rael, Steve is the kind of person I would love to call friend. His convictions take precedence in his life. He knows what choices he is making. He is not a victim here. He is not allowing his illness to compromise his belief that; medical practioners should be treating people, not diseases. Love the story!

    Melanie


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