Posted by: Rael Kalley | March 18, 2017

397. Just pretend.

For a long time we have been told the idea of acting “as if” we have achieved the goals we desire is a sure way of propelling us to the results we want in an accelerated way.

Another way of putting this is to say that if we truly modelled the behaviours we would display if we had achieved our goals, we will reach them much faster.

Cory is a long-time client and he swears the idea of “faking it until you become it” has enabled him to completely re-sculpt all areas of his life in less than three years.

Cory was referred to me as a coaching client and when we first met he described himself as an “uninspired, frustrated, out of shape guy in a dead-end job.”

He further explained that he was seemingly unable to take charge of his life and to manage those things that were causing him the greatest stress and frustration.

He had tried repeatedly to quit smoking but was still going through a pack each day. At 33 he was 45 pounds heavier than he had been at 23 and while he strongly believed he needed to upgrade his education to further his career, he lacked the desire to “spend my evenings in a classroom when all I really want to do is lie on the couch and veg out.”

He had joined a gym two years prior and had not gone back after his third visit.

He was ready to change.

Several months went by and Cory appeared to be making some progress but he felt he was taking one step back for each two steps forward and was not sure if he wanted to continue working with me.

We spent some time talking about the notion of faking it until you make it and something caught fire inside Cory.

I remember watching him disappearing inside his own head as he sat across from me imagining how great his life would be once he achieved everything he had ever wanted and I saw facial expressions I had not seen before.

Cory adopted the idea of faking it until you become it into everything he did. He went back to the gym and every time he was there put himself in the mindset of having and enjoying the state of health, body and energy he had long wished for. He quickly discovered that by working out from that approach he was able to push himself further and faster than he ever had before.

He did the same with each meal he ate and the moment he started telling himself, and acting like, he was a non-smoker was the moment he became one.

He learned how to fill himself with enthusiasm and excitement at the thought of going to school after work. He has now completed an apprenticeship and is well on his way to the career of his dreams.

Cory is a self-described introvert who had always struggled to meet new people, make new friends and build new relationships.

He decided to embrace the same concept in meeting new people and has just celebrated the first anniversary of his relationship with his new girlfriend – his first since his marriage ended seven years ago.

Cory has found that every facet of his life has benefitted be faking it until he becomes it. His perspective has shifted to the point where he now, with certainty, will attempt things he never thought himself capable of before.

And as he proudly pointed out, he doesn’t have to fake it anymore. He is it.

And there is nothing fake about that.

Till we read again.

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